Face Off 07×09 – Serpent Soldiers (SPOILERS)




Last week, George won with his Axe Girlfriend in the Horror Movie Poster challenge, and Sasha was saved from elimination.  This week?  Let’s find out!

At the house, everyone’s congratulating George on his win, and Drew points out that he’s the only one who hasn’t had a top look yet.  Pressure? It’s on.

We head to the giant battleship Iowa (now a museum), and McKenzie is standing next to a bunch of ‘top secret’ crates.  It’s G.I. Joe!  It’s also G.I. Joe’s 50th anniversary  She mentions Cobra Commander and Snake Eyes, so it turns out we’re doing snake super soldiers.  Each crate holds a snake, some of them quite deadly.  All of them quite adorable.  I know that most people will disagree with me on that, but I think snakes are cute.  McKenzie totally kicks Vanna White’s ass as she’s opening each crate to reveal the snakes.  The biggest one is for last, and I immediately shout out “Anaconda!” before she opens it, because that’s really the only snake that would be big enough to fit in that crate. (and it’s not even the biggest Anaconda that I’ve seen – I watch a lot of nature shows).

Rachel picks the Green Tree Python, Drew picks the Tiger Rat Snake, Sasha picks the Hognosed Snake, Damien goes for the Gaboon Viper (also the snake with the largest fangs in the world), Cig goes for the Christmas Tree Eyelash Viper, Keaghlan picks the Albino Reticulated Python (a common snake for pets), George goes for the Green Anaconda, Dina takes the Brazilian Rainbow Boa, and Stella takes the Namibian Coral Cobra.

McKenzie then tells them the winner will also get a huge toy package including 50th anniversary figures from Hasbro.  Cig says he wants that prize BAD, and then would have G.I. Joe parties.  McKenzie also says that she put some Samsung (product placement!) TVs into the lab so that they could magnify their pictures of the snakes in the lab, which is cool.  You can really look at the snake details on a bigger screen.  If you’re a Face Off aficionado like I am, you will remember that in Season 2, the Green Tree Python made an appearance in the “Deadly Beauty” challenge where they had to marry a snake and a plant together in a design.  It would be cool if it were the exact same snake.  The Face Off mascot!

Because Cig’s snake does look like it has eyelashes, he plans a female ninja snake with the codename ‘Lashes’, but he’s one of the last people to choose his model, and all the female ones are taken.  He goes with Matt, and has to change up his design.  Sasha and Keaghlan are both having problems trying to make a human face look snake-like (hint – snakes don’t have an indentation between their nose and lips).  Sasha’s especially worried because she was saved last week, and doesn’t want to make it seem like the judges wasted the one-time save with another shitty makeup.  Drew may also be in trouble because he’s going out of the box, and doing a human who has been body modifying himself to add Tiger Rat Snake features to himself.  Kinda like Voldemort, I guess…?

Dina’s really into hers, and the clothes are very The Baroness.  Her snake has a very distinct eye-like pattern on it, which she’s going to use.  She also wants to win that G.I. Joe action figure pack pretty badly because her boyfriend is a collector.

Back to Sasha and her problems.  She’s asking everyone in the lab what she should do to stop it from looking like shit (she really does remind me of Miranda).  Thankfully for the other people in the lab who are trying to work on their own stuff, McKenzie and Mr. Westmore come in, and he gives her some direction.  Mr. Westmore’s also a little concerned about Drew’s, since he’s doing something so different from everyone else, and because it’s so minimal.  With minimal makeups, the paint needs to be PERFECT.  Keaghlan is also thrown for a loop when Mr. Westmore says that he doesn’t see much of the snake in her face.  She’s a self-proclaimed Barbie girl.  Hell, so am I, but that doesn’t mean that I would just throw away the challenge.

On day 2, Sasha’s doing her scales like the feathers that she did in her cat/owl in the animal hybrid challenge.  Keaghlan decides not to do a cowl, but rather a strawberry blonde wig that is a similar color to her Python.  Stella’s nearly done her face, and we hear the producer’s voice telling her that Kerstin, her model, has strep throat, and she’ll be getting Elena instead.  Elena has a much smaller face, so Stella has the dilemma of having to sculpt a whole new face for Elena, or use the one that was meant for Kerstin.  She decides that she doesn’t have enough time to work on the face again, so she’ll just worry about it during application.

George creates a muscular bodysuit because Anacondas are soooo thick and muscular.  Rachel is having issues with hating her cowl.  Damien is the only one who even mentions fangs.  He decides to go with ogre dentures, and cuts all of them out except for the incisor fangs, and uses paint and clear nail polish to make them look moist and more like snake fangs.  Good choice, since if you Google a Gaboon Viper’s fangs, they are HUGE.

On application day, Stella’s up shit’s creek at the start, because she has to spend the extra time darting and moving and stuffing her face so it will fit on Elena’s smaller face.  She also has the issue of hating her helmet cowl because A: it doesn’t fit and B: she thinks it looks lame.  Cig is going very action figure for his paint scheme, and Dina is dry brushing pearl over her paint to give it the translucence of snake scales.  Keaghlan thinks hers is missing something.  Yeah, like the snake.  It looks like a scaly cat.  In Last Looks, Stella just decides to ditch the headpiece and style Elena’s hair instead.

Here we go with the Final Looks:

Cig’s Christmas Tree Eyelash Viper looks good.  His is definitely the most ‘action figure’ of them all.



Next is Drew’s Tiger Rat Snake.  It actually turned out pretty cool, and I like the treatment of the brow, and the way the orbital bones go down to the cheeks. Also dig the claws.  They really do look like metal.  His model is going nuts with the movement, though.  It’s kind of like “Okay, calm down Omar (yes, I know his name), and let us see the damn makeup.”  Dig the addition of the snakebite piercings.


Next is Rachel’s Green Tree Python.  Looks more like a Green Tree Ninja Turtle with some sort of face abnormality.  With also one shade of green.  This didn’t really go right for her this week.


Damien’s Gaboon Viper is decent, but not my fave.  The little ‘horns’ that the actual snake has translated well into the makeup.  Cool looking neck, though.  It looks snake-like, but there’s also something almost mechanical to it, too.


Here we’ve got George’s Green Anaconda, who he named “Manaconda”, which sounds like a dish you’d get at an Italian restaurant.  There’s something about it that looks kind of lopsided to me, but there’s some really cool paint at the outer edge of the eyes.  I also don’t understand the bodysuit and the weird black square over the torso. (that you totally can’t see in this picture…)  He’s also got cool teeth.


Dina’s Brazilian Rainbow Boa is my FAVE.  She looks sexy and like The Baroness turned into a snake.  The scales look so good and realistic, and the paint job is perfect.  Yay Dina!


Stella’s Namibian Coral Cobra actually turned out okay considering all the problems she had.  The hair’s a little messy, and there are some small pucker issues, but that’s to be expected.  The nasal labia area looks VERY snake like.  Cool costume, too.


Oh Sasha.  It’s Cat Owl, Part 2. Except not a success.  The face is totally lopsided, and the scales don’t look like snake scales.  She’s at least got some decent paint on there, though.  That’s the one high point.  Her actor also gets premature sword ejaculation when he tries to pull it out of the sheath.


And then there’s Keaghlan.  I thought that Stella’s model had messy hair, but at least it was her model’s actual hair, and not this awful wig that Keaghlan’s model is wearing.  The best part is the mask that’s covering up Keaghlan’s makeup, because it’s not good.  Bad paint, bad sculpt.  It looks like a cat.  But, the model’s legs go for MILES, and she’s got a neat outfit.


So, Cig, Dina, and Drew are in the top.  Dina’s was my pick.  I love the comment that Glenn makes about Cig’s, wanting one for in the package, and one to play with.  And again I choose the winner.  Dina wins, and she gets the G.I. Joe toys for her boyfriend.  I’m sure he’ll be very thankful!

The bottom looks are Keaghlan, Sasha, and Rachel.  I picked Sasha to go home, since she totally wasted the save, but they chose Keaghlan.  I can’t say I blame them, since her’s was a giant mess, too.

The preview for next week shows scary clowns.  Set skin to crawl in 3… 2… 1…